Sunday 26 October 2014

Three different timezones! Hey we should try making video calls, there will be cool-some!

It's 12:27am, should be my sleeping time, but I am visiting a few blogging sites, at the same time filling another page(s) of my journal...
Hey I feel like moving my web blog to Wordpress (I created one a year back but am still very unfamiliar with it's settings), cos my Blogger seems too messy for me, but I invested so much time setting up the Blogger... What to do?
Perhaps I should do a serious clean ups for my Blogger and restarting it again already, and not spending time being indecisive... So many things crossed my mind but I just let them slipped away, feeling such a waste of not recording them down at the right moments...
I really really want to control my privacy to a circle of friends whom I am close with, not liking the fact of being so naked in front of the public ever again...

But at the class of 32 students, I am still very lonely. I am quiet, as always. Nobody asks me out for meals, of course I die a little bit inside, but I am not feeling as worse as how I did. I am constantly telling myself that it is okay because I deserve to have preferences over who I want to be closed to, and that I do not have to force myself to fused into a culture where I am not suitable at all. Actually things are just that simple, just that I messed up my beginning and things just got so complicated. I am not so pathetically friendless, it is just that...  They are just different, from me, and of course you. All in all, I will be fine being alone, because by being so, I can entirely focused in my studies, having freedom of taking control over what I want to do at every minutes, and hang out during weekends with comfortable people to release stress accumulated during weekdays. Since the new semester began until now, I feel livelier and clearer of my objectives of being here, as compared to the past 1.5 years, so blurred of the what was the aim... Remember what you told me, Neri? That I am here for the sake of my future career.

I am so fortunate, to have you as two of my bunch of friends, who always backing me from behind, who I can laugh whole-heartedly with, even if I looked lost, you just finely go along with me. I may probably feel like an island if I turn 365ยบ around at the point I stand, but if to see further, I am not lonely internationally, at all. Just because you are not physically right beside me, it doesn't mean that I am a sole soul. At this evil world full of showing offs, I am lucky that my backup is rich with all of you!

oh, I signed up for Yoga Club, and I am going to participate in my very first activity later this evening!!! So excited! I feel like I am reliving a bit by a bit again!

~Jing~

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