Mind-mess.

I miss this space. Seriously, I never thought I would be so hooked onto Instagram to the extent that I neglect this baby here, and even my own space. I can't exactly remember when was the last time I got excited about blogging.

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Anyways, exams are still an ongoing thing for me atm. Just finished my fourth subject today and thought I should have a break. And then, this is when something-it hits me.

High school is finally coming to an end for me. Most people are excited, I'm somehow not. Well I'm happy about the exam part of it being almost over, but I guess there are still exams in uni, so lucky me, us, everyone because we're gonna be stuck with this for a longgggg time.

I never knew that I could meet such amazing people over here; the friendships formed, though not many, are all very valuable to me. It's not that you guys are not amazing, you guys are absolutely amazing and I can't imagine not having either of you in my life.

It's just that, all of a sudden, it gets me thinking about separation and all the uncertainties.

I've been through this, survived and moved on. Now, the history is repeating itself again. And I thought about us. I'm glad that we're all still close, yes we are close by being able to chat freely online ( see it's online, through apps etc), what about face to face? I know we've done this so many times that we could almost become professionals at this, but then, as we grow up, our priorities(may) change and who knows when or what might happen in the future.

Honestly, I don't mind the awkward conversations or silences if there's any(at all) between us, be it whenever, but I do(very much) mind the distance. It saddens me, truly deeply madly.

I do have faith in us, don't get me wrong. It's just it seems like it's been forever since I last talked to you guys, properly- properly isn't the perfect word of what I'm trying to say but I guess you guys get it. Yes you can say I'm insecure, well maybe it's just me being silly or whatever, but I just prefer to expect the worst, because in that way, if in the end, it turns out to be better, at least I'd feel less disappointed, depressed and less hurt.

It may seem as if I'm good at saying goodbyes, but no, I suck at it. And I really don't wish to say that to any of you.


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